2 Samuel 13:12
ESV
She answered him, "No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing.
NIV
"No, my brother!" she said to him. "Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing.
NASB
But she said to him, 'No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful sin!
CSB
"Don’t, my brother!" she cried. "Don’t disgrace me, for such a thing should never be done in Israel. Don’t commit this outrage!
NLT
No, my brother!' she cried. 'Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel.
KJV
And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
NKJV
But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!
What does 2 Samuel 13:12 mean?
The Old Testament mentions two other explicit rapes. Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob, was raped by the prince of Shechem. In response, her brothers tricked the men of the city and murdered them all (Genesis 34). Centuries later, after the Israelites settled in Canaan, a concubine was brutally gang-raped by a mob from the tribe of Benjamin (Judges 19:22–26). The other tribes joined together and almost destroyed Benjamin (Judges 20).Now, Tamar is fighting for her life: not her physical life, but her future happiness and fulfillment. Her older half-brother Amnon, eldest son of King David, has manipulated her into being alone with him in his bedchambers. The servants are gone. The dumplings she made for him are forgotten (2 Samuel 13:6–11). He's expressed his lust for her. She isn't strong enough to fight him off. She can only hope to persuade him.
She reminds him of the context of what he's doing. He is the oldest son of the king, and he is committing a crime so horrid that it just isn't done in Israel. In other stories of assaulted women, the women themselves have no voice. Tamar's story is could be seen as similar to Bathsheba's: sent to the home of a powerful man and violated. But Tamar is more like Abigail (1 Samuel 25:14–31). She sees the foolishness of the man in front of her and boldly makes her case to save them both.
Amnon is the son of the King. Tamar is the daughter of the King. What he is doing is not only against the Mosaic law, but it's against everything the nation stands for. The thought that the son of the nation's leader would do this is absurd. She continues by reminding him of the implications (2 Samuel 13:13). She would be shamed. She would have nowhere to go. As the king's daughter, she should be married to a foreign prince or a powerful man in the city. Instead, she will be disgraced, never to marry or have children.
He will be known only as the "outrageous fool" of Israel. He will be no better than Nabal who dared to challenge David and was struck dead by God (1 Samuel 25).
Tamar then presents the solution. If he asked their father, they could marry. He could have her, and she could retain her dignity.
David listened to Abigail (1 Samuel 25:32–34). Amnon will not listen to Tamar.
"Outrageous" is from the same Hebrew word often translated as "vile" in the story of the Levite's concubine. They are value statements that happen to be made in comparison to something less vile. The host thought raping a male guest was a vile thing, so much so that raping women would be preferable (Judges 19:23–24). Tamar says any rape is a disgraceful thing: so disgraceful that an incestuous marriage would be preferable even though it's against the Mosaic law (Leviticus 18:9, 11).
