What does Proverbs 25:21 mean?

This is the first half of a proverb (Proverbs 25:22) quoted in the New Testament by Paul (Romans 12:20). Human nature instinctively seeks revenge; this leads to an endless cycle of escalating violence. A more effective strategy is to show compassion and love for those who wrong us. That not only diffuses their need for retaliation, but it also contrasts strongly with their inappropriately behavior. This can lead to self-reflection and a change of heart (Matthew 5:39). This does not recommend attempting to "do good" with malicious intent. Rather, we do good simply because we are called to do so; leaving vengeance to God is wise because He is much more capable than we are (Deuteronomy 32:35).

Literal application of this verse is not wrong, but the idea applies to more than simply offering bread and water. It is Christlike to respond to ill-treatment with kindness. The apostle Peter reminds us that when Jesus was reviled, "he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23). The command to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18; Mark 12:31) applies not only to those who are easy to love but also to those who harm us.

The English phrase "kill them with kindness" is related to this proverb. However, that expression implies a deliberate intent to create misery or angst. Though the following verse refers to "burning coals," the context is internal repentance, not punishment.